How to Handle a Long Winter
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Dear Community,
Every April I pat myself on the back. I say to myself, “you did it, you got through another Midwest winter”. There is a certain pride in being someone that can withstand 5 months of ice, snow, and below-freezing temps.
But generally around Valentine’s Day I lose my strength. I have to find some new resolve to get over the remaining winter season hump. If you’re feeling the same, this newsletter this week is for you.
TOOLS
During the winter, as colder temperatures and icy streets usher me more indoors I find myself having to be much more creative to entertain and satisfy myself. Now that I have kids this creativity has an even more important purpose as I find ways to keep them off screens all day and engaged.
Some tips and tools I’ve used during the last months have been:
Purchasing board games that I actually enjoy playing with the kids. Operation, Guess Who?, Twister, Hungry Hungry Hippo, and Jenga have saved many long afternoons.
Scavenger hunts. Not only can you buy premade on Etsy or card decks on Amazon, but scavenger hunts around the house have been a favorite of mine. I find so much joy in making silly clues rhyme. Now, Cole has taken to creating his own and I am a proud mama.
Morning quiet time. Despite it being incredibly cozier in my warm bed at 6am, I have pushed myself to go downstairs so I can have solitude in the morning. This simple pleasure sets the tone of the day so I do not feel so behind when the morning gets going.
Social plans, including planned adult time and lots of playdates. Since we’ve decidedly relaxed a bit on Covid, the reemergence of friends indoors has been a lifesaver this winter. After the consecutive snow days a couple of weeks ago, my best friend from Chicago met me up with her kiddos for a weekend away and it has kept my cup filled for weeks. Winter tends to make us feel lonely and isolated (so does a pandemic) so ensuring social time is so very important.
Dinners out. Once a week my husband and I try to go out to dinner. We have found our favorite spot, park ourselves at the counter and enjoy comfort food and cozy vibes. When the grandparents cannot watch the kids, I spring for a sitter to ensure this need gets met. On the weeks I’ve used my crockpot more than any human should, someone else cooking my meal is a luxury I do not take for granted.
Getting sweaty. Whether I take a brisk (albeit treacherous) walk to work, squeeze in a HIIT workout, stretch next to the space heater or take an incredibly hot shower, I need to get warm. Once I get my blood moving, I have more motivation to get off the couch or my desk chair and just feel better during the day.
GRATITUDE
So while activities and to-dos help, when none of that is accessible, it is the appreciation that builds the resilience to carry on during winter.
Emily, our Senior Practice Coordinator LOVES winter. Cole says he loves snow and then says he wants to live in Florida. Four-year-olds…
I find that being around people who have genuine gratitude for the winter months helps make me stronger and encourages me to find appreciation in this season as well.
In my appreciation, I am more resilient in the face of harsh weather. So, here’s what I’m grateful for in winter:
Space heaters, comfy sweaters, wool socks, and throw blankets. The cultivated feeling of coziness is just so lovely. True hygge feels.
Darker nights. I love a summer evening, but during the school week, the sun setting at a reasonable hour makes for easier bedtime routines and a quicker transition to slumber.
Bluebird days. You know those sunny winter days where the snow is glistening and you’re blinded by the reflecting sun? You look up and bask in the little warmth emanating and feel sunshine across your face and breathe in the crisp air. Ah.
Slower schedules. We just do less in the winter. We travel less, we enroll in fewer activities and instead spend more time quality watching movies, playing board games, and baking.
The pure joy of freshly fallen snow, taking those first steps and then playing - sledding, building forts, snowball fights… Kids definitely make winter feel more joyful. I have favorite memories this winter of just being silly out in the snow.
What brings you gratitude during the winter months?
INNOVATION
So while we can work on gratitude and activities to bring more joy, I find that winter just still brings up this notion of escapism. We long for our next warm-weather get-away, pining for beaches and pools. I get it. I have a weekend planned in Florida next week and I am so looking forward to it.
But this idea of “something to look forward to” is tricky. While hope and optimism lie at the bed of anticipation, our ability to still find the good in the present is an essential skill.
When I lived in Chicago there was a joke that you got through winter by drinking alcohol. Maybe not a joke, but an accepted lifestyle choice that said heavy craft beers and big glasses of bold red wine were accessories to surviving winter in Chicago. We know though that this is merely a coping mechanism. We drink to not feel the discomforts of our feelings.
We do a lot of things to not feel our feelings, especially when they are uncomfortable. We daydream, we wanderlust, we future trip, we avoid, we run away, we shut down, we numb out, we disassociate, we consume, we shop, we search for instant gratification, we scroll and binge-watch.
This winter I’ve been trying really hard to check my habitual reaction to search for something to numb my discomforts of being cold, stuck indoors, and “done”. I have tried hard to check my impulses for wine and sugar, to stop before I online shop, dramatically decrease phone use, and move my body in whatever way works that day.
It’s been a mindful, present practice to understand my inclinations and get curious about my choices. Do I still have a glass of wine, buy jeans from an online influencer, and get sucked into a show? Of course. But I can say that I feel more aware of my choices than ever before. From that space, there is less guilt, shame or self-judgment. More intention. More grace. More self-compassion.
FEELS
I quote Cole a few months ago saying,
“Blend the bad things into the good things and you have feelings and can make good things.”
Here’s the takeaway about winter: there are rough parts and there are good parts. We then can assign feelings to this - we can feel annoyed, burned out, exhausted, uncomfortable… hopeful, contented, playful, relaxed.
We get to decide how we feel. We get to stay awake through it all and choose a mindful response to our discomforts.
Winter can push us to our edge. In a season where we’ve already been pushed to our edge for the last two years, I am empathetic to everyone who just feels “over it”.
Winter may be about things dying, yet, in the face of discomfort, there is a choice. In that choice we can find our resilience, we can find the good, we can choose to be alive.
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