How to Gain Body Freedom
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Dear Community,
How many of you are seeing more ads on social media for intermittent fasting, intuitive dieting (not a thing, btw), and fitness regimens for that beach body? This time of year seems to spur Diet Culture into overdrive and we are all the victims.
I’m tired of it. Are you? So this week, let’s talk about how to gain body freedom.
TOOLS
I’m currently training our leadership team to conduct Elevated sessions. These are trauma-informed meditative experiences where we regress to significant times in someone’s life to reprocess, reframe, and essentially re-do the experience. I have seen my Elevated clients say things like “this is the first time I’ve ever felt peace” or “I finally have the clarity to know exactly what I need to do”.
In training leadership, I’ve had the chance to be led through a session. These unique, integrative tools we use to help clients gain insight are profoundly effective at getting to the root of our issues and the wisdom to overcome them. In my own session, I felt tugged to visit a memory from when I was 7 years old at a pool with extended family members.
GRATITUDE
It’s essential to be guided in a session like this with someone you trust. I’m grateful to have excellent colleagues to give me the permission to relax into the experience with safety. So in this experience, I noticed how mad I was. See, starting at a super young age people were making comments about my body. And I know I’m not alone - little girls and boys field commentary like, “so petite”, “beautiful skin”, “hope he’ll grow tall”, “long legs like her mom”, “he’s not big but he’s fast”, “hope they don’t want to play sports”.
It doesn’t stop when you get older. There is an ideal body shape promoted in our society. We see images meant to entice us into the billion-dollar “wellness” industry everywhere, much of which is in disguise. Additionally, we live in a fatphobic society where “you are not afraid of being fat. You are afraid of being treated like a fat person" and overweight people are often stigmatized, discriminated against, and demoralized.
Our Teen Girls Group started!
If you missed this one, pay attention to the next round!
INNOVATION
Have you heard of the acronym HAES? In the wellness industry, there are limiting beliefs that in order to be healthy one must have a certain BMI or weight appearance. However, science is increasingly showing us that BMI is BS and someone can be healthy at any size.
As a mental health company that is integrative, we must look at our client’s relationship to food, exercise, and diet. Mental health is supported by nourishing our bodies with nutrient-dense foods, intuitive movement, and a forgiving, healthy relationship with food choices.
However, what we do not do and cannot do in this field is falsely declare what is the “right” or “best” food or exercise model for someone. Nor, can we make a judgment that someone is looking for weight loss solutions if they happen to be overweight.
There is an ethical imperative for all wellness industry leaders to check their bias against weight just as much as we all are implored to be anti-racist. Of course, this extends beyond just those in the wellness industry. To be a HAES advocate means that you approach all humans with the belief that size does not determine health and realize judgments about someone’s morality, work ethic, self-discipline, or worth based on their size.
FEELS
And yet. I say all of this but it feels like an uphill battle at times. Like no matter how much we exert our will to not engage in diet culture, it permeates into our psyches and decisions. For me, it’s a constant, daily struggle. In my Elevated session, I was encouraged to use my anger in a healthy way, to empower myself and my younger version to stand up for myself and my worth.
I also noticed myself craving the freedom, asking myself, “what if I just abandoned all self-doubt and walked uninhibited at the beach or pool?”.
What joy and presence could I feel if I just shut down the critical thoughts that keep me safely on the shore in my cover-up?
It’s all shame. It’s these messages we’ve been engraining into ourselves for decades that drive our behaviors for an illusion of protection. But then what do we miss?
It’s clear to me that we miss a lot. We miss play. We miss ease. We miss presence and peace.
I encourage you to check your beliefs and bias as it comes to body size. I encourage you to throw away the scale, delete the weight loss app, and lean into your knowing. If you need help, work with someone like this or start listening to this.
You see, when we’re intuitive and wise with our truth, we naturally practice balanced habits. Stress and shame cause us to force outcomes and put rules around our actions.
We have to trust ourselves.
We have to believe in ourselves.
We have to see ourselves, our diverse, unique selves are as good enough exactly as we are.
I believe in you. I see you. You’re good enough.
Click here to learn more about therapy for disordered eating.
