Lessons From a Year in a Pandemic
I think most of us remember that “last moment of freedom” before everything shut down one year ago.
The day prior to the Governor’s announcement I was actually facilitating a mental health awareness workshop for the local Kiwanis Club. We had over 25 people in a room, eating buffet food together, while I was 9 months pregnant.
What a different world!
I also think we’ve all learned a lot. Here are the top things I have learned that I hope either resonate with you or can help you, too.
TOOLS
Slowing down really is essential.
I really, really do not like rushing. One of the first signs we were slowing down was that my son actually got a bath every night. Prior to Covid, it was a mad rush from commuting from work, picking him up from daycare, making and eating dinner to landing a 7/7:30pm bedtime. Now, one year later, this kid gets a bath every single night AND a sit-down family dinner and still makes bedtime. And it feels really, really nice.
I also realized how much I was rushing in other areas of my life. A long time ago I read The Rushing Women’s Syndrome and it changed my life. Unfortunately, life also changed and rushing made a resurgence. Since Covid I’ve been really intentional about creating more space between things so I do not let rushing around be the norm again. What we do does not need to define us. It’s the time spent with loved ones, with ourselves, with our values that is most important.Trusting myself is the foundation for everything.
With so many decisions feeling like they carried catastrophic consequences, I ran into decision fatigue and burn out a lot. Everyone had an opinion and this past year, facts were hard to find. My instincts were constantly tested, pushed and self-doubt was like a middle name.
But this year also firmed up my inner voice. When I couldn’t always rely on straight answered externally, I have worked hard at cultivating my intuition and reestablishing it as my guiding force. When I flow with my intuition, everything feels easier and much more aligned. Scarcity and fear drive me to act impulsively and force things to happen. I know that when I do not initiate and I wait with trust, I suffer so much less.
GRATITUDE
3. I am so grateful for my husband.
Truly, I cannot imagine going through this past year - pregnant, a newborn, pandemic, construction/renovations, moving offices, growing Reset, moving our home, and raising a toddler - with anyone else. I’m thankful to my 26 year old self for choosing him and knowing my worth. I’m grateful I didn’t settle for a partner who didn’t share my same goals, work ethic and values.
For a lot of us we had to look at our circles and decide who was adding value and who was adding pain. This last year was a weeding out of sorts. It also highlighted disparities within relationships and made us question roles we’d been playing in our relationships.
When we look at why we’ve made certain relationship decisions, it usually comes back to what we think we deserve. So as the dust settles now as we get closer to the end of this pandemic, I hope you have found some clarity in your own worth and what that means for those you surround yourself with.
INNOVATION
4. We are all connected…seriously.
At the beginning of the pandemic I read The Overstory by Richard Powers. It was a hard read because it made me a bit overwhelmed. It tells the stories of trees, humans treatment of them and the powerful connection trees cultivate with those around them. I felt guilty and sad and a tiny bit hopeless.
During the start of Covid, we saw the stories of nature coming back to life and taking back its territory. We saw less pollution, better air quality and wildlife reemerging. Climate change has intensified with more and more extreme weather. Let’s not forget the Australia Fires at the start of 2020! Plant-based foods have gone public and business leaders are focusing on environmental initiatives.
I hope for years to come we all can develop more compassion for all living things. I hope we can see ourselves and our similarities amongst each other and also in life around us. We cannot afford (or future generations) to continue to selfishly take from this Earth and steer a single agenda of our own ideology.
We are all living things. From trees to humans, no matter the color of your skin or where your roots are established.
FEELS
5. We have a lot of feeling, healing and transforming to do.
There is no doubt that our mental health has taken a toll in this last year. Loneliness is a serious epidemic in itself that impacts our oldest and our youngest citizens. We have a LOT of work to do to rebuild systems that have proven to fail our most vulnerable, our most needy, our most oppressed, and our most disenfranchised.
We also have been living through trauma, loss and unbelievable stresses the last year. The mental health field is trying to keep up, but it’s broken. It has been for a long, long time. We must keep evolving and pushing for change in order to bring more awareness and advocacy to mental health issues.
But it in that pain we have opportunity for change. And when we do not know where to start, we can start with ourselves. Covid has highlighted a lot of my own growing edges. My husband’s too. We both see a weekly therapist to just feel heard, get perspective and have someone walk alongside us as we uncover layers of ourselves. It’s deeply healing and hard and rewarding.
If we cannot change everything, at a minimum we can change ourselves for the better. If we each do our own work to uncover our unconscious biases, to reveal our shame, to give light to our pain, to redefine our limiting beliefs, to judge ourselves less so we can judge other less…if we practice more compassion, self-awareness and intentionality we CAN make this a much, much better world.
I believe it, I feel it, I know it.
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