Learnings from My Latest Rotation Around the Sun
This article is part of our weekly TGIF newsletter series. To get these in your inbox weekly, sign up below:
Hi Community,
It was my birthday this week and I always use turning another year older to really reflect. To be honest, I really do not need another excuse to get introspective but on my birthday I try to look at the entire year. So looking back, here’s what I’ve learned…
TOOLS
This last year has been about finding my way back to myself. In the last 5 years of becoming a mom, it’s been really hard to remain centered within myself. Add managing a business and two little boys during a pandemic and it’s no wonder I (and most of us) feel a bit frayed.
So, in attempts to care for me this year, spending wisely on my holistic health has been a necessary and effective tool. As I stated last week, I’m clear that my values are wellness and family. This last year has been about a lot of debunking what I thought was wellness - like following a certain diet or exercise regimen - and more about connecting to my entire being and responding to what I need.
I started working with a functional medicine doctor to learn more about what’s going on inside my body so I can best heal and treat it.
I returned to the yoga mat and have cried so many times on that rubber rectangle.
I found a new way of meditating that wasn’t so effortful.
I practice intuitive eating and have a therapist who holistically supports me.
I found a spiritual connection with myself that fostered new growth and learning.
I tweaked how I work with clients and got trained in The Emotion Code, Reiki, Past Life Regression Therapy, Psychadelic Assisted Training, and Meditation Therapy to find more joy in this field and elevate a client’s experience.
GRATITUDE
More than anything this year, I tried my best to savor the tiny moments. When I get caught in the headlines of the world, I lose presence in my own world.
This last year I cut out most news media consumption, took breaks from social media posting, deleted my personal Instagram account, stopped watching a lot of tv, created strict boundaries with my schedule, released friendships, limited online and big-box shopping, established a mindful relationship with alcohol, bought more local and we expanded our home garden.
All of these steps have been in attempts to create a more intimate relationship with my immediate community. As humans, we have only a limited amount of capacity to take in all that is around us. I have wanted my attention to focus on the people I can see and talk to, the business owners I can visit, the produce I can touch, and the experiences that rather than numb me out, make me feel more alive in this life.
And when I am not so distracted by all the things, I can bring more joy and gratitude to the little things.
INNOVATION
Having survived the worst of the pandemic with a newborn, toddler and mental health business has also left me feeling just less concerned.
Seemingly counterintuitive, you’d tend to be more anxious, more depressed, more hopeless, more cynical, and more panicked due to the state of our world. But really, I’m not interested in wasting my precious moments being upset about things I cannot control. I’ve spent lots of time stuck in feelings of despair. I’ve driven myself sick worried about climate change. I’ve driven others crazy trying to make decisions about my kids.
And in spite of all this effort to try and control the outcome, I can still get hit by a car after walking out for a latte.
To quote a character who would probably be canceled these days, “Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out alive”. This birth year has been clear in that I am not in control. None of us are. And we cannot keep chasing some ideal version of this life in order to reach some pinnacle point where we finally can say, “look, I made it!”. The sand will fall away from under us the moment we think we’ve reached the top.
And because of this, it means we must hold loosely onto this life. I’ve been trying to practice so much more non-attachment, which is a tenant in yoga and also in chakra philosophy.
I have a guided meditation I do with clients in which I say the following…and something I’m practicing more and more lately: “Meditate on what attaches you, on what you are attached to. People, ideas, things, outcomes, plans, the future. Release all of your attachments. Think of your attachments and let them go. Let those attachments go, flow down the river, forgotten. Learn to let these things go. You must learn to let go. This is the most difficult practice. Surrender yourself. Letting go does not mean these attachments disappear. Know that what is meant to be in your life will be there without you having to hold on so tightly. Release here. Releasing attachments will allow you to connect to your most perfect, best self. Surrender.”
FEELS
So here’s the thing. I’m not intending to become insular and disconnected. It’s quite the opposite. In all of my personal growth this last year, I feel more connected to what matters most.
Mother Teresa once said, “If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.”
And so that’s what I’m continuing to choose - the relationship with my home, my community, my family, nature in my backyard, and deep connections with people I get to see every day.
I’m choosing to come home to myself and love this home. I’m releasing envy and pursuit and pushing and comparison. I’m releasing angst and anxiety.
I know I can change the world by loving the heck out of what is right in front of me. The more love I give to myself, the more love to have to offer to others - the baker across the street, my kid’s teacher, my best friend’s kid, my neighbors, my clients, and my employees. And in doing so, I trust in the ripple effect. I trust that good change will come through modeling and lots of tiny, loving interactions. Patience, forgiveness, non-judgment, and kindness are contagious.
There is so much power in a collective built on lots of individuals loving hard.
I choose love. I choose love in the smallest of moments and interactions. I choose self-love which translates into love for all sentient beings.
So here’s to the next circle around the sun. Thank you, as always, for riding it out with me.
Click here to learn more about foundational wellness therapy.
