How to Feel Safe When the World Is Not
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Hi community,
We’ve been here before. We’ve been scared, grief-stricken and overwhelmed. We’ve donated, posted memes and yelled in the shower. We’ve looked up marches, called our senators and ranted on social media.
We’ve been here before.
And I know we still do not feel safe, in spite of all that we’re doing.
So today, I’m sharing how we feel safe when the world is not safe for us.
TOOLS
But first, it is important to act. Safety is not a right, unfortunately. Safety is a privilege. In order for there to be equitable safety, we must empower ourselves through responsive action.
Action is not ranting, scolding “the other side” or numbing out online.
Action is finding the energy even if it’s from the bottom of your well and doing something so we do not continue to languish in our despair.
Action is deciding that even if it doesn’t immediately impact you, you know that we cannot be safe until everyone is safe.
Action is advocacy.
So, here are ways you can act, immediately:
Share resources. Share resources with loved ones, friends, and your community. Make sure your teenagers, your college-aged students, and your kid’s friends know there are options for them. In a quick search online you can find thousands of resources. Help educate.
Register to vote and actually pay attention to what you are voting for. Oh, and then definitely show up on voting day - each voting day, not just in November.
Donate to organizations that focus on the intersectionality of oppression. They are multi-focused because they see the bigger issues, not just one single issue.
Stay informed. I know it’s a lot to take in, but try to stay engaged in what’s going on so you are more prepared and inclined to take action.
Want more? Listen to this 30 min podcast for The 4 Things To Do Now.
GRATITUDE
Here’s the thing. I know you’re angry, tired, and sad. I know you just want it all to end. I know you feel like it’s “one more thing”. I know you are just trying to do your best every day and the idea of also fighting for our future is daunting.
But I need you. I need you to take care of yourself, first and foremost. I need you to refill your tank, take deep breaths, move your body, get in nature, sleep at least 7 hours at night, and find joy.
I need you to be a light. The world needs you to shine bright.
Knowing what you do not need and what is holding you back is important. How is fear standing in your way? Not fear at this moment but the projection of fear? The anticipation of something bad happening.
Right now, at this exact moment, you are safe to be a light. Yes, right now, at this moment, you are safe to be a light.
Here are some things to consider as you notice how to stay in your light, even in dark times:
Read these books about the intersection of joy and activism - in order to create light. The Lightmaker's Manifesto: How to Work for Change without Losing Your Joy by Karen Woldrond or Pleasure Activism by Adrienne Maree Brown
No one likes an angry activist. Lean into the rage, but with a softness - don't let yourself harden against the world. The way that we react to the world is often a reflection of how we're dealing with ourselves. Compassion compassion compassion. Lead with love.
This is a marathon, not a sprint. What do you need to do and how exactly do you need to take care of yourself in order to stay engaged and STAY AWAKE?
Where is your water level at? We talk about this concept a lot but we can all use the constant reminder to check in with ourselves.
Just please, do not numb out. Do not move on. Please raise your capacity to be a big, brighter light and help us lead into a better future.
INNOVATION
So yea, this week brought some very real, painful concepts. Those who have experienced sexual or physical trauma were triggered. Those with medical trauma. Those with religious trauma.
Anyone who has had an experience of not being in control of their body may be really, really struggling. Anyone who has felt like someone else has given feedback on their body. Anyone who has felt like someone else has power over what their body should do, look like, or feel like. Anyone who has been pushed to disassociate from their body.
Cis-gender females have had to endure opinions of their bodies…forever? It’s maddening. No wonder Gen Z has lifted the veil on how gender is such an oppressive construct and has paved a new pathway of non-abiding and liberation. No one wants someone else to decide how they should look, feel or act within their bodies. NO ONE.
Right now is an opportunity to be reflective of the ways we try to control our bodies - our bodies and the bodies of others. How do we try and fit our body into an “ideal" while shaming other bodies? How often do we pass judgment about how a body looks? How often do we question whether a body can identify as one gender or another? Do we pass judgment on how a body should dress, how much weight it should carry and whether it births children?
Be honest with yourself. Do you judge your body? Do you judge others’ bodies?
Start to disengage in the commentary you have about your own body, the expectations, and constructs you’ve adhered to and it’ll open pathways to releasing wanting to control others.
We must first liberate ourselves before we feel safe to liberate others.
FEELS
My team has been struggling this weekend. This work is hard, especially when we are not just holding space for, but also sharing emotional space with our clients. At Reset, we know that our medicine for our community is the work that we do. We can't do it all - but we are one cog in the grander mission.
I’ve had to really come back to a grounded place this week as I realize my own limitations. I’ve had to center myself even more so I can have any strength left for anyone else. Therapists, helpers, and healers out there, I’ve personally found solace in this Twitter feed and this written piece.
But for everyone: times are hard. This global environment our souls find us in right now is trying. But I have to trust that each one of us is here with a mission. If you find yourself lost, remember that you do have a purpose. If you have a calling that you know is for more, try this exercise or get inspired by this video.
And yet, remember, the most profound avenue to feel your purpose is found in the present moment, just being in this life.
Feel safe when you are safe. Breathe. Feel safe when you are safe.
Feel joy when you are joyful. Feel sad when you are sad. Feel mad when you are mad. Feel safe when you are safe.
Right now, at this moment, feel safe because you are safe.
And at that moment, remember to LIVE.
Click here to learn more about therapy for trauma.
